A few weeks ago we were having dinner with some friends of ours, one of them has a daughter, Allie, who is just a few weeks younger than Brylee. I brought coloring books and crayons inside with me because we like to visit (duh!) and kids need something to keep them busy while we are visiting. Confession: I always keep them in my purse - you just never know! Anyways, while sitting at dinner I noticed Allie was coloring inside the lines, near perfect, while Brylee was just scribbling away. I casually said something about how well Allie colored and her mom said they worked on it in school. Immediately my mind went 10 million directions. Why couldn't Brylee color in the lines? She colors at school and at home. They do go to two different schools, maybe it's the school. Maybe it's Brylee. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't shown her or told her any different. She colors each "thing" one color but it's always scribbled (like hair is one color, shirt is another - it's not just random scribbles over the whole page). After a few days we were at home coloring and I asked her why she didn't color in the lines. She replied with "what do you mean?" I showed her what I meant and she tried, yes there were still scribbles, but she tried to keep them in the lines.
A few more days went by and she was coloring her little heart away at the kitchen table (yes, B LOVES to color) while I was cooking dinner. I noticed she was back to scribbling so I said "hey B, why don't you color inside the lines?" She looked at me and said "I'm sorry mommy, I'm trying". Immediate mom guilt. I didn't mean to make her feel bad about it, I was just trying to get her to color, in my mind, the right way.
Fast forward a few weeks while were out eating dinner one night. Tate had gone to get our food and this older lady walked up to our table told Brylee how pretty she was and how pretty her picture was. The lady then looked at me with the biggest smile and said "do you see that man at the counter paying?" I replied yes to which she said "That's my baby. I overheard you talking about coloring inside the lines. It's okay mama, I'd give anything to have him scribble again!" Y'all, I melted! Snow on the ground in 100 degree weather - yup, that was me. A big puddle. Tears filled my eyes. The lady hugged me and said "don't cry, enjoy it! Parenting is hard and you're doing a great job!"
My eyes welled up again just typing that. I've heard the whole 'you're going to miss this' spill so many times but this one struck me. I was trying to push B to do something that I should have been patient with. She's growing entirely too fast and one day I'll get a picture that is perfectly colored - no scribbles and no ghost areas - and I just might miss those scribbled pages.
I think as humans we are always comparing something whether we mean to or not. We compare ourselves to other women, our husbands to other men and our children to other children. I was comparing Brylee to Allie over the fact that Allie colored inside the lines. Why? In my mind I felt like B should be on the same level because she is the same age. Every milestone in B's life has been early - all of them! Why was it so hard to grasp the concept of coloring in the lines? Shes is so smart and I shouldn't have let something like this get to me like I did. I got to where I was feeling like I wasn't doing enough, like I wasn't being a good enough mom. It took Tate getting real with me one night to remind me that I am a great mom.
So, to the mom waiting with a baby isn't walking yet, isn't talking yet, isn't riding a bike without training wheels yet, isn't writing their name yet, isn't coloring inside the lines yet, whatever if may be, you are fantastic, more than enough, and are doing a great job! Their time will come and some of those memories will be a blur. To the hopeful mom that is trying so hard, I hope and pray that you get scribbles one day!
Sometimes we just need to be reminded to quit comparing, everybody will do things differently and develop when the time is right. We should always, always enjoy the scribbles!
My eyes welled up again just typing that. I've heard the whole 'you're going to miss this' spill so many times but this one struck me. I was trying to push B to do something that I should have been patient with. She's growing entirely too fast and one day I'll get a picture that is perfectly colored - no scribbles and no ghost areas - and I just might miss those scribbled pages.
I think as humans we are always comparing something whether we mean to or not. We compare ourselves to other women, our husbands to other men and our children to other children. I was comparing Brylee to Allie over the fact that Allie colored inside the lines. Why? In my mind I felt like B should be on the same level because she is the same age. Every milestone in B's life has been early - all of them! Why was it so hard to grasp the concept of coloring in the lines? Shes is so smart and I shouldn't have let something like this get to me like I did. I got to where I was feeling like I wasn't doing enough, like I wasn't being a good enough mom. It took Tate getting real with me one night to remind me that I am a great mom.
So, to the mom waiting with a baby isn't walking yet, isn't talking yet, isn't riding a bike without training wheels yet, isn't writing their name yet, isn't coloring inside the lines yet, whatever if may be, you are fantastic, more than enough, and are doing a great job! Their time will come and some of those memories will be a blur. To the hopeful mom that is trying so hard, I hope and pray that you get scribbles one day!
Sometimes we just need to be reminded to quit comparing, everybody will do things differently and develop when the time is right. We should always, always enjoy the scribbles!
