Chasing Texas: Operation Get Fit

Good morning friends! Tate had to get up and leave super early for the tournament so I had to wake up much earlier than normal. And, because of my few extra hours this post was completed. I've had it started for a while now but never really wanted to put it out there. However, it's something I needed to do for me. I guess you can consider it a confession, but on a serious note.

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I really don't even know how to start this post. It's kind of a 'get real' post but at the same time I want to be motivational. I know we shouldn't let the number on the scale define who we are and we should be comfortable in the skin God gave us but the same time, I'm not happy with my body/health and I know I can do better. I look at clothes in the closet and think how nice it would be to wear those again - I'm talking things I know I should be able to wear, like jeans and tops I could wear in the first few months of being pregnant. Losing the baby weight is hard, but news flash, my "baby" is 3!

I have always been active - I was an athlete and I loved running so I was always fit. Even through my pregnancy Tate and I made it a routine to go walking every single night. But with my pregnancy also came preeclampsia. My blood pressure was always high and I never felt good. I was also so swollen and then just gained so much weight. I thought it'd be easy to get it off because of my active past. Wrong. After I had Brylee I had postpartum depression bad. It's something I've never really talked about, but I was put on antidepressants and just went through day to day life. Here I was with this beautiful baby girl who was very healthy considering my health during pregnancy and I was depressed. It made no sense, especially to someone who had never dealt with depression. I laughed at the fact that my social and happy self would every become depressed. Y'all, postpartum depression is real! Obvious right, but there are so many people who ignore it and they shouldn't. Talk to someone and try to avoid the antidepressants! I was almost numb.

I made up excuses for everything and just kept myself at home. I was somewhat of a homebody previously, but this was different. I didn't want to be around anybody. I even made up excuses to not do things with Tate and it put a damper on our relationship at a time when we really needed to grow and bond together. It wasn't until I had a complete break down while talking to him that I knew I needed to get it together. This was not who I was nor who I wanted to be. Things started to get better when I started back to work. I made new friends, started working out again and rekindled the friendships I had lost. I was getting happy again..

And then we moved - something I thought I was prepared for, but oh goodness no! I was excited for the move and maybe to get a fresh start somewhere but I didn't really realize how hard almost 9 hours away from home would be. It was tough! South Texas will always be marked as no doubt the toughest time in my life. I only knew a handful of people. The only friend I really made was one of the coach's wives but we only talked on occasion. I stayed at home with Brylee, which we thought would be best but I think it only made things worse. I was miserable. I tried to see the good in everything and I knew it was good experience for Tate but I was breaking. At one point I even thought about going back home to Odessa until we could figure something out - something neither of us wanted to happen.

And then Tate got a call one night almost a year ago that changed everything! I really consider it a saving grace. God never gives you more than you can handle and I'm absolutely certain He knew what He was doing. The whole moving situation wasn't the best and there were a ton of ups and downs getting here but life is back on track. I love this coaching staff, I've made great friends, and I'm working again. The only part of life that I'm not happy about is my health and body - which is totally something I can change!

Which brings me to this post (which I totally didn't mean to be taken over with postpartum depression and moving)! I decided I needed an outlet for 'Operation Get Fit'. I don't know exactly how I'm going to do these posts, but I need something to hold me accountable. I mean if I'm putting it on my blog that means I gotta stick with it, right? As of right now I'm thinking I will check in once a month with my progress, workouts, healthy recipes and motivation. I'm not dieting, so to speak, but more of a lifestyle change for the better and it's great that I have Tate on board too. I can absolutely do this!

Yes, we should love our bodies as they are, but we should also treat them right by what we put in them and do with them! I don't eat bad but I can't say my body gets everything it needs nutrition wise and oh how I'd love to have my shoes hit the pavement again! And to anybody else struggling with postpartum depression or weight gain/loss, you're not alone! Talk to somebody - you'll be surprised at all the similar situations!

Thanks to y'all that stuck through all that. I didn't mean for it to be such a heavy heart to heart but the words were just flowing - just how I like to write! :) I'll be back tomorrow with some Friday Favorites!

Linking up with East Coast Chic and Home of Malones for Thoughts for Thursday!